Q. How does neutral mediation differ from traditional divorce litigation, and what are the benefits?
A. Traditional divorce litigation is a structured legal process, but it can be costly and lengthy. The timeline for resolving a litigated divorce is difficult to predict with accuracy, as it depends on court schedules, attorney negotiations, and contested issues. The longer a case remains unresolved, the more expensive it becomes due to ongoing legal fees.
Neutral divorce mediation, on the other hand, offers a flat-fee structure for both parties, depending on the complexity of the case. This incentivizes resolution by providing a clear financial framework and avoiding the unpredictability of escalating legal costs.
As mediators, we neutralize the adversarial nature of divorce proceedings, guiding couples toward objective resolutions and settlement options. The mediation process is typically completed within 4-6 months, offering a more efficient path to resolution.
Additionally, confidentiality is a key benefit because all settlement discussions and decisions remain private, without creating a public court record. This allows couples to resolve their divorce discreetly and with greater control over their personal and financial information.
Q. What types of family law matters can be resolved through mediation rather than going to court?
A. Mediation can resolve many family law matters without the need for litigation, including:
Divorce agreements (property division, spousal support, debt allocation)
Child custody and parenting plans
Child support modifications
Legal separation agreements
Post-divorce modifications (custody, support, or visitation adjustments)
Q. How do you ensure a fair and balanced process for both parties during mediation?
A. Ironically, as a neutral third party, the mediator often has more control over the case than attorneys in litigation. This is because the mediator is not an adversary, and both parties are actively invested in reaching a settlement rather than engaging in a contentious legal battle. Ms. Braunstein is a seasoned family law litigator with extensive legal expertise, which she brings into the mediation process. During each session, she provides legal information (but not legal advice) so both parties understand their rights and obligations under California law. She also helps brainstorm creative settlement options tailored to the unique needs of the couple. As an impartial facilitator, the mediator:
- Ensures each party has an equal voice in discussions
- Does not take sides or impose decisions on the parties
- Maintains a structured and productive dialogue. When a party requires independent legal counsel, the mediator will recommend seeking legal advice as needed. Additionally, both parties have the option to have their Marital Settlement Agreement reviewed by outside counsel before signing, ensuring they make fully informed decisions.
Q. What should I expect in the first mediation session, and how can I best prepare?
A. In your first mediation session, we will:
Outline the mediation process and ground rules
Identify key issues that need to be resolved (e.g., finances, custody)
Allow each spouse to express their goals and concerns
Discuss next steps and set expectations for future sessions
How to prepare:
Gather financial documents (assets, debts, income details)
Write down your priorities and key concerns
Be open-minded and willing to collaborate
Q. How does mediation help parents create a more peaceful co-parenting plan compared to court-ordered decisions?
A. Mediation allows parents to engage in in-depth discussions about their child’s well-being, concerns, and specific needs. The mediator helps assess whether a parent’s concern is as significant as they perceive it to be and clarifies what issues are truly impactful in the co-parenting arrangement. This structured approach allows for open dialogue, helping parents work together to make informed, balanced decisions in the best interests of their child.
In contrast, litigation places these decisions in the hands of a judge, who may have limited information about the family’s unique circumstances. While California courts require mediation through Family Court Services (FCS) before a custody hearing, this process is often brief and less comprehensive than private mediation. By choosing mediation, parents retain greater influence and flexibility in shaping their co-parenting plan, rather than relying on a court-imposed decision that may not fully address their family’s needs.
Q. What are the cost differences between mediation and hiring separate attorneys for a contested divorce?
A. The cost savings of mediation can be significant compared to litigation. Neutral Divorce Mediation typically costs $7,000–$8,000 total for both parties, whereas contested divorces with independent legal representation can range from $15,000–$50,000+ per spouse, depending on the complexity of the case. One of the biggest advantages of mediation is its flat-fee payment structure, which incentivizes resolution by capping legal costs. By committing to a structured process with an upfront financial framework, parties are more motivated to work toward a fair and efficient settlement.
Q. How long does the mediation process typically take compared to traditional divorce proceedings?
A. Mediation is much faster than court litigation:
- Mediation: 3–9 months (depending on complexity and cooperation.)
- Litigation: Average timeline of a dissolution is 18 months due to impacted court calendar, potential delays and multiple hearings, as well as balancing attorney’s schedules.
By avoiding the court system, Neutral Divorce Mediation (NDM) allows couples to move forward with their lives more quickly and with less emotional strain.
Q. What makes your mediation approach unique in the San Diego/Del Mar area?
A. Neutral Divorce Mediation (NDM) was designed organically to address a recurring issue we saw in family law—emotionally charged couples fighting for their lives without a clear understanding of the community property framework and the big picture. Too often, couples enter litigation without fully grasping how California law applies to their case, leading to unnecessary conflict, prolonged disputes, and escalating legal fees.
As a neutral mediator, my role is fundamentally different from that of an attorney. Instead of advocating for one party, I provide both spouses with the big picture, helping them understand the law and empowering them to make informed decisions. I often have to relay hard truths, information that individuals may not want to hear, but I believe in setting realistic expectations in a respectful manner. Ultimately, my goal is to help families resolve conflict in a less painful way so they can move forward and rebuild their lives.
Q. Do both spouses need to agree to mediation, and what happens if one is hesitant to participate?
A. Yes, both parties must agree to mediation for the process to move forward. Mediation is a voluntary process, meaning both spouses need to be willing participants in order for it to be effective.
If one spouse is hesitant, it’s often because they don’t fully understand the benefits or are concerned about fairness. In these cases, we recommend:
- Scheduling a consultation to explain the process and address concerns
- Highlighting the cost and time savings compared to litigation
- Emphasizing the control they retain, as mediation allows couples to make their own decisions rather than leaving them up to a judge
- Reassuring them of neutrality, as mediators do not take sides but facilitate a fair and balanced discussion
Many reluctant spouses find that once they understand how mediation works, they feel more comfortable participating, especially when they see that the goal is a mutually beneficial resolution rather than a legal battle.
